In a Stunning Move, the Former First Son Turns National Embarrassment Into a Campaign Platform
In a press conference held outside a known Delaware drug den, Hunter Biden, son of former President Joe Biden, declared his candidacy for the 2028 presidential election, promising a platform that blends scandal with socialism.
“I’ve mastered the art of turning investigations into opportunities,” Biden quipped, waving a laptop reportedly containing his memoir, “Art of the Steal.”
His campaign slogan, “Make America High Again,” has already sparked a bidding war for campaign merchandise featuring his signature aviators and a suspiciously generous pardon from Dad.
Political analysts predict his debate strategy will involve interpretive dance with foreign oligarchs, while opponents scramble to match his promise of free crack pipes for every voter.
“It’s the most entertaining ticket since Trump’s hair,” said one voter, grabbing popcorn. The DNC remains cautiously optimistic, awaiting his VP pick, rumored to be a golden retriever named “Burisma.”
Leave a Reply